footshifting

missing K

Won

or

lost?

War

my heart

my love

is war

my true love, K.

I miss you

XO

-R

hate being cloned

I found

what I've been

searching for

smells funny

delicious

chew up the seeds

Eyebot, get a sample.

Ed E, I win!

and I wakeup

in a vault tech coffin

and die again

just to escape.

-Russ

radblood addict again

Radscorps

picking mutfruit

shooting nukes

my favorite things

red horses

applausas

riding on

the tide

of radblood.

addicted again

-R

nothing can stop me now

wastelander

meets the wastes

dying

of boredom

nice shirt

tho

won't stop

a bullet

like me.

-R

spring snow

flowers

flowers for miles

*BOOM*

and petals

irradiated petals

falling like ashes

onto my tongue

-R

palmless trees

Palm trees

paradise

mininukes

what fun!

*BOOM*

Oops!

(laughter)

-The Wanderer

good one dogmeat

Dogmeat:

when life is a beach

fuck it

[end Holoarou]

return to bethesda's fallout 3

the beginning

sometimes

you just have to

start somwhere

and in the

end up

elsewhere

that's life

return to fallout 3! a PC game from 2009, the best effort yet from Bethesda Softworks!

-R

in memory of Bryan RIP

I followed you

brain

through my eyes

looking at a storm

wet

keep it wet

and I always do.

-R

nuked again

The sign in the clinic

said sleep disorders center

I can't read

anymore

I wake up

the next day

today

I slept for 20 years

I could use some

help

but I nuked megaton

again.

-R

ressurected

I wake up

in a vault tech coffin

blinking lights

eyes have never seen

too bright

Moira you bitch

ressurecting me

tonight

but at least

megaton is alive

I guess I am too.

-Russ

radscorpion's dinner

Heavy air

wet skin

the sound of nukes

bright lights skyward

burning brush

a circle of radscorpions

protecting me again

No... it looks like

I'm dinner tonight

and they eat me alive.

-R

spiritual war

War

War never changes

the weapons change

the soldier changes

the warrior

forever

the warrior fights

a spiritual war

bullets and armor

or a white flag

can never stop him

the war continues

-R

I'm still alive

Dogmeat

Catmeat

Ed E you stupid eyebot

did I leave you in megaton?

? ? ?

Meow

Arou

Blip

"You survived" -Dogmeat

-R

did I ever drift?

regurgitated

with my blades

from a carcass

on shore

did I ever drift?

or was I

drinking radblood again

in the belly

of the dead beast

slain by time.

-R

shapeshifting again or losing it.

crash

flip and flail

and I hit rock bottom

drifting

swallowed whole

I am

a killer

fish

a whale

of a beast again

-R

Human again

I am a ten point

compass

I'm out of radblood

and the light

hurts my eyes

my eyes

do I have those?

sunburned skin

Skin?

Human again

-R

forward always

The sea has lost me

but my direction is universal

forward

live die

forward

always.

-R

unwilling to die floating at sea.

changing

how this story

flows

ebb

tide

ebb

alive

dead

or just

unwilling

-R

brave

Can I remember?

Yes

the blood

human blood

and placenta

one eye open

Dada

with a shotgun

and the mutilated face

of a mutant

super mutant.

-R

NEW BOOK: drifting away

The north

the west

the east

I am a board

floating

this way and that

I am

I am

alive

still alive

-R

idle worship

there she was

a living statue

a radscorpion

bigger than life

one speaer in Midagar

one spear in Hel

One mouth for Elysium

I drank until I vomited

then I drank again and again

and again

-R

need a chem doc

I hate krill

there's never enough

for a full bellied

whale of a wastelander

in the deep blue

twilight

I see wormwood

"Welcome to Bethesda, Maryland,"

i could use a chem doc.

I'm not afraid of fading

just like always

I wake up

in a crowded

crumbled crater

did a nuke hit here?

Radscorp dust

in my mouth

smack

smack

"Hey, he's awake"

"Don't kill me," I said.

I had forgotten that I could speak.

-R

Darkness where am I?

Darkness

where am I?

again

dead

again

the shade dragon

always offering death.

Do you want to WIN

do you want to WIN

do you want to WIN

Win?

Winnow?

Minnow

and I slip away

escape in the forest stream.

alive in another form

-R

dead again in the wasteland

K.

my hidden ally

just one

she guessed

my numbers

I verified,

1 hp

*BOOM*

Dead again

in the wasteland

of my soul's eden.

-R

yuck!

i ain't

like i'd make friends

with a mealtray

I ain't doing it

I'm not eating it

looking at a pool

of radblood

vomited up

by an ugly, sick man.

-R

damaged

gotta love pipman

words

corrupted with numbers

full data

1,000,000 damage from a mininuke

but I have 1,000,001 hitpoints.

still alive

in the wasteland!

-R

fun with flamers

Burning man

running in circles

no one,

obviously

the didn't read the vault tech

survival guide.

do you beleive

in magic?

how about

Stop & Drop dead

(laughter)

-R

two for dinner

I knew

he was no christian

because

when I asked him not to,

he kept on chewing

lip smacking

with his mouth open

blood dripping out

two radaddicts

and the radscorpion

peirced him through and through

with stab after stab.

Don't make friends while feeding

-Vampire hunter R

exploring with the wife

Anastasia

if you are a ghost

somewhere, watching,

listening,

would you tell me if

*BANG*

"Fuck!" I yelled

"Sorry hon..  Just got that damn dog."

"Hon, where's dogmeat"

"Look mutfruit.. she's on the distant plateau,

watching over us."

-Mutfruit Nut

is it good to live forever?

Anastasia

I found your teddy

at springvale school

but I don't know

is it good to live forever?

or better

to die young

and pure hearted?

my soul is black

I've murdered so many people.

-R Ghost Mr. Mutfruit

where is anastasia?

"Where is Anastasia?"

"Hon, she died..."

"no hon...

she just was never cloned.

she's resting."

"Ok my love,"

"OK?"

"Go to sleep.

Even heroes need sleep"

"I love you K."

"I love you too."

ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

-R and K

mutfruit nut

"Hon,"

"Hon, if you think

men are loopy,

just call me

your mutfruit nut.,"

"K?"

"What?"

she hadn't been listening closely.

"Call me mutfruit."

"ok nut job.. "

we laughed together. it felt so good.

I blushed

she loves me enough

to tolerate me.  It's true love.

-R&K 2gether 4ever

I love you mutfruit

I love mutfruit

it's always full of

rads and calories

wife says it tastes

pretty nasty

to me it's just

a little funky

but look at it this way

if it tasted great

there wouldn't be any radfruit

people would eat all their seeds

fight over them

I love you mutfruit!

when a woman says fix it.

"The computer won't work,"

she said

"Hon, computers are systems of logic and what you're doing is erroneous"

"can you fix it?"

and she gave me the fuck me eyes

"Yep.. It's fixed"

"obviously this computer was designed by a man." she says and I laugh.

All I did was add a script

for her miss-command

sometimes when a woman says do it

just fucking do it!

-R

slavers again

"Livin on

the prarie

we'll make it hon

I swear

listen.

The wastelands are praying with us."

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck..."

slavers.

They always know they're screwed.

My favorite.

Where' Kim's .22?

-R

mission #1

"Kim, call me ghost"

"Why?"

"Moira said I was-"

"what are you, stupid?

Go kill me an iguana

using only a tire iron"

"haha.."

gotta love women.

Women no want pet iguana.

-Russ

emergency freezer

Eta 5:36

gotta love a woman

who doesnt think in military hours.

Love you K.

the wife says

"no eating out of my fridge!  If you kill it in the wastes, eat it, and bring me back some!

Freezer is emergency only for you.  Go hunting.  Find another iguana. I'll hold down the fort here.

LOL

Gotta love Kim

-R

eyebot record #42534

Living by the skin of your teeth is never fun

paying your Megaton bills with bottlecaps is impossible anyway.

although there are those that do it.

Some of us give up a gun or a tech..

It always comes back to us

when the Megaton posse let's us loot the radier and mutie corpses..

It's a rotating lottery.  Go figure.

-Ghost

Ed E - end recording ok?

[End Holotape]

I love you Kim forever

"I am Kim"

What?

"I am her"

what?

"you don't remember"

"why?"

"I erased your long term"

"my memories, a long time ago..."

"Bathe with Ajax"

she gave the cue

fuck.. and they came flooding back to me.

"I remember"

and we embraced.

I love you Kim.  Forever.

Lost episode #4

Kim

you are my treasure

no greater treasure

than the heart.

you beat in my chest.

I love you K.

Don't forget me

somebody

loves you ;)

memories of K

I dream of you K.

your bright blue eyes when you find steel

your golden hair when you make bread,

the way it hovers and strikes

like a radscorpions tail

in the breeze.

I love you K...

"Moira, where is K?"

and she showed me

but I didn't believe her.

I'm a radaddict again.

-Ghost in the hell

first laugh

"I'm thinking of squeezing your-"

"Ouch, goddamnit Moira!"

we're clones not siblings

we didn't pop out of mama's vagina.

Ouch!

Ok ok... Sorry!

-Laughing Ghost

Ghost searching

You gotta love it

when a living dead girl

sings you to sleep

for the first time in millenias.

but when I woke up

megaton was gone

and the other sleepers

Mininuke! *BOOM*

they won't suffer now.

not like I am.

I sufffer deeply, K...

Where are you?

-Ghost searching

where is my beloved?

I'm not sure

if I have the will to live.

but if you doubt for a second

in this world

you give up all your strength

and then

you're just a captive

inside a clone

inside a blinking coffin

Moira

you have great Manpips

Sister, you know?  But where is K???

-Ghost

clone memories

Cooped up in megaton

AGAIN

Gads... You blow up a town

you grant ultima peace,

and what do they do but ressurect me

somewhere else.

welcome to my nightmare.

tell me.

If a clone remembers,

what is doing the remembering?

-Ghost

ghost of christmas fun

It's a game of radscorpion and squirrel.

The radscorpion always wins

and I awake in a puddle

of my own blood

with a radscorp clicking at me.  I don't care.

I blast it in the face with-

dead again.

Seeing Moiras face at Megaton now

and I know I am a biologically reconstructed body

housing the ghost

of christmas fun

from a million lifetimes before now.

-Ghost

WHIPS, pipboy for women, now with IFF decoder!

sometimes

you hear a quiet voice in the wastes

or someone passes behind you,

silent as a ghost.

They're always looking at their WHIPS

(Pipboys for women)

and they've scanned you and you're a friendly.

It's when the wastes are silent that you are afraid.

"Who's hunting me?" I scream

and the plinks of bullets let me know

I've met a raider.

-Ghost

going solo

Sometimes

I sit among the ghosts of megaton...

the stories are always about war...

defeating this, reconing that..

Occasionally everyone laughs at once

"Where did you find that?"

it's the question no one will answer

but everyone loves to be asked

And then they're ready to divide into teams

but everyone knows if you've got a cache out there

you go solo

and hope to live.

-R

Ed E wants cigarette

I think the eyebot is broken

all she says is,

"Want cig... Want cig..."

what did Moira reprogram you?

*kick*

-Ghost

where the red fern grows

"Moira you

goddamn chem addict!"

and I took her cigarette

and I had EdE incinerate it.

I said,

"Now do you beleive I am not a clone?

You saw Eden for yourself

will you go beyond with me,

beyond Bethesda?

to the Edge?

Where the red ferns grow

twenty stories tall with no help

from nanovial 006?

-Ghost

Moira dead

One day I told Moira about the GECK kit.

her eyes were wide and she looked into me

"Where?"

and my compass changed

"Moira, I can take you there,

but it's a journey you might not survive"

"Take me there."

so we set off to the south west

when we got to bethesda

the sign read "Welcome to EdEN"

and life was everywhere.  Moira ran

but I took the sting off the wasp

and drank the poison

but they killed her.

Fuck...  See you in megaton.

I guess not everyone like giant wasps.

-Ghost of Radspoison Anonymous

lost in my solitude

"Moira I can't possibly be a clone,"

"uh huh" she says

"I remember past things, before your coffin."

"Like nuking megaton?"

that's sounding better each day.  So many...

faces.

And I know i"m lost

in my solitude. I'm leaving Megaton.

-Ghost

never RIP

I'm just like anybody else

Wandering.  Living.  Dying.

Thanks to Moira

I'll never RIP

I'll never rest

except for a few moments

in eternity

until I wake up in your coffin of blinky lights,

and you tell me I'm a clone

and I smile

and a drop of radblood falls.

-Ghost

Missing K

I love you K.

I love you and I miss you

I am not anything

when I find you...

will you be there?

or just another skeleton?

I am in this human shell

this weak, weak body

they say radscorpion blood kills

on the first drink.

But I know you're alive

because my compass bearing

is changing as you wander.

-Ghost

I am ghost

I told Moira

I'm a human and I need to be loved

she said,

"you're a ghost and I pulled you out of the nether"

I said,

"Which nether region was that?"

she cried a long time that day.

she said,

"You're just a radghost in a human shell,"

I guess so..  Ok.

-Ghost

I AM NOT A CLONE

I one day told Moira

I was a human being

and she laughed her secret smile laugh

"You're human.  You're a being too."

and I went away puzzled

so I found one

framed.  A red barn that was falling down

amidst the golden grasses.  She gave me the other look

"You'll never beleive me, will you?"

I said,

"Hell no woman!"

-R

I AM NOT A CLONE

just a clone

Moira told me

one day she was mad

she hadn't done her hair up

"You're just a goddamn clone"

a clone?

"Don't clown with me" I said

she said,

"The cirque du freaks is next door"

I said,

"If I'm a clone

I'm a damn good one!"

and she smiled.

Love you sister.

Love you tons K.

On my way.

-R

haven't lived until youve tried radblood

you hear them when you pass Megaton's gate.

"I'm not for sale"

they whisper it

the chem addicts

under their breath

always, "I'm not for sale"

they say hope floats

they're lookin for anything to sell you

to get the next checm

I say back

you haven't lived until you

try radblood.

-R

finding my way home

Pipman

you're always watching

guaging

which step is the step

in the right direction

you chose.

But I go.

I go on anyway

Deep into the wastes

I love you K.

I'm finding my way home.

-R

I love you K, where are you?

they can take away

the wasteland from the mutant

but you can't take

the mutant out of the man

No Moira go F* yourself

sorry if I glow in the dark

I love you K.

Where are you?

Home?

and the compass changes

and I follow the arrow

dead or alive,

I wander onwards.

-R

unending war

The heat is gone

cool moss

and streams of pure water

what is this place?

I stand outside megaton

"Ping!" fuck!

someone's shooting at me

but I keep a vial

of irradiated water

just in case

"Ping!"

Gotta keep moving

NEXT BOOK: beyond eden

The sign says

thank you for visiting

EDen

hello world...

you're not what I remember

did I kill you?

my beloved radscorpions

I don't know anything

except

I must find the edge

and see what is beyond

the infinite eden.

GECKtastrophy

I'm scared now

when I opened the GECK

it said,

"Want to get rid of the wasteland?

Want lots of free food?

More mutant plants and animals than vault tech can imagine?

break nanovial #006



An end to the wasteland

new things to fight

the war won't end

I am a warrior

the war never ends

but sometimes

there's a quiet pause

THE END

deliverance

War

I care

I'm just tired

battling

the war inside

can it be won?

can I find the peace I seek?

I have been to the edge of the wasteland and beyond

beyond the rainforests

beyond the ice

there's no surviving

just being alive

and I find it now

I kick it with my shoe, wipe off the dust

G.E.C.K

sounds gross

it's heavy, full of chems.

Moira would love this.

I love you K.

Deliverance.

-R

lost in solitude

I see someone

whistling

smiling

with a pile of iguanas over his shoulder

food for megaton for half a day

should I kill him?

My skin is whate..

I eat iguanas.

But everyone knows

an iguana will feed you for a day.

The rads will feed you for three weeks.

it's always a battle.

war.

mortality vs. immortality

how do you choose?

Live for a day

or live forever

I am lost in solutide

and he vanishes over the horizon

I move on

-R

slavers

Survival is hard

on your own

zero rads

zero safety

zero missions

I crouch here

wiating for the slavers to pass

then I can take them out

for rad-dinner

*plink* *plink* *plink* *plink*

headshots, always

save the radblood.

Save the radblood.  But the slaves drink it up.  Free food.  They're not survivors.  Just murderers.  And I murdered the posse that was bringing them in.  There are no mistakes in the wasteland, just bad judgement.

*plink* eight times now they're all dead.  and what did I accomplish?  Food..  Ammo for guns I don't have.  These weapons are broken they haven't fired in years.  But I know Moira can break them down and build her blunderbus.

Another day in the wasteland with no one to tell you when or who to shoot.

and never

ever

leave a witness.

where are my radscorpions

Megaton is locked down

I'm trapped here

no climbing, rule #1,

rule #2,

you do you die

in the wasteland

they don't understand what I am

survivors everywhere

I am a survivalist

wearing rags

over my black soot skin

and my black heart.

the bomb is disabled.

dismantled.  gone long ago.

scrapped for parts

one woman in a

hazard suit

Moira you bitch

so I climb and escape

but this body is weak

fed on pure water and iguana meat

where o where

are my radscorpions

my eight savors?

Putting on clothes

Megaton

I thought I

nuked you inside

this nightmare existence

I just want

a home

and you've given me one, maybe.

I'll put on some clothes

and stay awhile.

-R

WIN

trees

green grasses

I've left you behind

for frozen nothingness

my pipman says

"do you want to W.I.N"

yes, yes... fine...

I win.

and I wake up

in the metal coffin

and I bust my way out.

I'm back in megaton.

-R

marching towards oblivion

I'm not free

and I'm not for sale

I will never forget her words

Aurora's.

bright lights

dance in the sky now.

I love you K.

I march onward

towards, forewards

to oblivion

-R

naked and screaming

she said

I was naked

screaming and thrashing

when she dragged me

to her village

but I know

I walked

I see the trail

back where I was

Dogmeat

Find .22 ammo!

iguana on a stick

I'm wandering now

my compass

points me to Aurora

stupid broken vault tech

always designed

with humor in mind

I am a human again

carrying a .22 rifle

breakfast has

arrived

gotta love

iguana-on-a-stick

-R

your witch doctor told me

"Your blood is sweeter

than the nectar of the brocflower

how long have you wandered?"

I said

"I don't know

forever, I guess"

but I kept their human food

in my boiling stomach

this time.

-R

scrubbing bubbles

sometimes I wonder

how long I spent with the tribals

I have memories

of things that never

happened

she said

"you're no god,

just a filthy black white man,"

Aurora you scrubbed my skin

in vain.

-R

I am radscorpion

It's too bad

to leave all those

great tits

miles behind me

goodbye Aurora

you didn't know

I don't eaet your mutated foods

I am one with

the land

I am radscorpion.

-R

across the bridge

We both know the truth

I'm one of him

and he's one with me

in the night he breaks

my bonds and sets me free.

"go and drink"

I hear the clicking, clacking

across the bridge

and I know

my family is close.

-R

escape plan

I have a theoretical escape plan

thy bring me food and water

I vomit it up.

"Rad blood... I need radblood"

these tribals

obviously have never

drank the vomit

except their witch doctor

he is stained with it

bastard.

"Hey how about some blood,"

and she thinks I'm insane.

"It's betle juice"

NEXT EPISODE: taken prisoner

Aroya

she takes me prisoner

marches me back to

her camp

parades me around

chains me to an old escavator

I laugh and laugh

they think I'm insane

until I turn into a butterfly

and float away on the spring breeze

baiting the radscorp

how fall will you go

my friend

just to bait a radscorpion?

mininuke day

its gonna be a

bright

bright

bright

sunshiney

mininuking

day!

need owlmeat

Zig

Zag

I'm still

in the wasteland

dogmeat

find owlmeat

for catmeat

Catmeat: "Purrrrrrrrr"

-R

blue flames crawling

I was

standing next to a mountain

the sleeper

in my hand

and I cut it

down like

the woe

blue flames crawling on my skin

what have I become?

-R

war with myself

flames

of

cold fire

leap

from

my hands

what have I become?

I am the ultimate spiritual warrior

at war with

himself.

-R

Ignorance

By the way

ignorance is bliss

but only

for the wicked.

-R

food for the dead

I am the phoenix

I rise before the fall

burning alive

ALIVE

I rise into the sky

forever

I am the north star

I am wormbaal

ashes on the

winds of time

your rad infection is my treasure.

Welcome to the wasteland

where radiation is food for the dead

-R

Panthera Leo Atrox

passion-aggressive

LOL

take control

I'm sick of it

which hoop next?

which hoop next?

I have become

Panthera Leo Atrox

will I jump

the burning gorge?

-R

Book "Doom on you" begin

Death be lost

this isn't real

empty agony

growing darkness

I am gone.

dog to butterfly

I am gone

on the winds of time.

-R

surrounded by Radscorps

Never again

second hand

survival

year to hundred years

another night

in the wastes

surrounded

by radscorpions

at least

I can sleep at all.

-R

B

The perfect dark

I will never

leave the two

suns

in the sky again

Who I am.

Who U R.

B

-The wastelander

huwomkind

Aggravation + Powerless

Happiness + powerful

powerless = Aggravation

powerful = happiness

Balance = rest

I can only

be myself

my soul will always

be a human being

in the spiritual wasteland

of huwomkind

and humankind.

-R

I am radscorpion

The fight is over

I drink the blood

I drink the poison

I drink the vomit

I

AM

RADSCORPION

-R

Dr. frozen

War

it's over

cold war

begins

and I am

Dr. frozen

-The wanderer's apocalyptica vol 6.

welcome to the wasteland

*BOOM*

sorry nuketown

*BOOM*

sorry megaton

Dogmeat,

find P E A  C E

"affirmative sir,"

Peacemaker 9mm

says so right here

welcome to the wasteland

-R

California blown to bits

California

rest in peices

thats what

the graffiti says

and I keep wandering.

why?

-R

finding a voice

the question is not

can I change the world

but

can I free myself

can I be free

inside

At-one with

the wastelander within

time and time again

my soul in the wastes

thank you Bethesda, for nuclear fallout

I'm finding my voice.

-R

Apocalyptica vol 5

the revolution is here

it's time for a change

hard work and smart choices

challenge myself

to take my true form

it's not for

everyone

but it works

I am as free

as a white dove

as free as a golden bird

as free as Buddha

-The Apocalyptica vol 5.

revolution untested

The revolution

untested, untrue

-Change-

an honest voice

a personal promise

I'm keeping

I've worked

I've known the truth

13.5 billion years ago

you followed my soul here, K.

-R

below my paws

I wave goodbye

to the prison

just by

my willingness

to close my mouth

and defend the earth

below my two paws.

-R

Book 3 begin

The white flag

doesn't mean

surrendur

it means

I retreat

to better learn

the Arts of War

until

the next revolution

round and round we go

when I stop...

-R

I am

I am

Blackheart

shadesoul

firecrown

whiteraven

talks-with-the-winds

wyrmwood

I am metroid

the last starfighter

road to apocalypse

I am wort and I am Excalibur

I am Omega

briarthorn

chrysalis

farseer

blackjacket

keeper of wasps

keeper of truth

I am not Gaea

divide and conquer

-Bable Apocalyptica vol 4

spiritual war

Identify

the

only

foe

I

have

...

R

Bable Apocalyptica vol 3

I.F.F.

identify friend or foe

just like a revolution

a spiritual revolution

I am the spearhead

in Gawd's side

-The Bable Apocalyptica vol 3.

dragon bucked the rider

Just like any revolution

there is loss

there is always collateral damage

the dragon has bucked

the woman who...

just like any revolution

I take no prisoners

I am the eternal prisoner

and the bars

have never contained me.

-R

earth bound raider

Goddess

help me take charge and see and feel real results.  It won't be easy.  Nothing worthwhile ever is.

If I'm truly willing to challenge myself to do things differently, then I can and will W.I.N.

The weight is lifting

I go unto my fate

just like a revolutionary

an earth bound raider.

-The Wastelander

Woodseye lord

Woodseye Lord

Grant me the serenity

to accept what I cannot change

and the courage to change what I can

and the wisdom

Light + Dark

to know the difference between them.

-Apocalyptica vol 2.

billion years young

I am 313.4 billion years young

and counting backwards

and counting.

-R

relieved

This place is hell

and I cannot escape

the nightmares

I wake up

relieved to still be

a wastelander in the wasteland.

-R

man in the mountain

The old man

in the mountain

takes bullets

but not bottle caps

worthless bottle caps

he's dead now

-R the wastelander

Nightmares again

Noxious fumes

and secret arroyo arrows

Nightmares again..

-R

Book A: Find the will to wasteland

I need to be still

I need peace

Dogmeat, find peice!

"Arou!"

(five handguns later)

Dogmeat

Find P E A C E

*BOOM*

-wastelander

I Am Perfect Dark

Block me again

standing again

alone

forever

I love you

K. A.

we

R

the wastelanders

-The Apocalyptica vol. 1

Episode 12 begins here: I M venomynus

My love

I'll see you through

to the ends of the wastelands

--K

screaming

I am alone

I am alone

except for

Kimberley

find the phone

anastasia

no more headaches

please

no more migraines

ok

[End Voice recording screaming Arou]

wasteland nightmares

Shining

Light

a tunnel

of darkness

we part ways

forever alone

-R

half blood half dead

thanks Anastasia

my half blood

sister

dead

halfblood

sister

Oh my

wastelander!

SLAP

BEGIn episode 11:Humor and Hell inside Insanity

I sit around the campfire

with three raiders

who look

bullets, dogmeat

look like they

see a ghost.

their wide eyes

tracking me

into the tunnel within

the Meriesti trainyard.

I feel

today at

last, long last

I feel, I feel

I know

I feel, I feel,

always

-The Wastelander

squirrel dinner

if today was my last day

for squirrel on a stick

for love and peace

and a couple

of iguana on a burnt spit

ptooey

-The Wastelander

Episode 10: The End -or- Warpath Alpha

I don't know

where to go

from here

I am lost

a lost soul

slipping further

away from

you

K.

-R

the dark crystal

the dark crystal

of my own heart

calls to me

from somewhere distant

calls to me

go further

go further

halfway

around the flatland

Earth is not far enough

not for me.

Episode 9 starts here: Uninspired Bullshit

thanks for joining me, the author

on a journey into insanity

into the mind of a wastelander

in a galaxy that doesnt exist

in a land far far away

deep inside the heart

of a player

who fell in love

with fallout 3.

Thank you Bethesda.

real misinformation

Real misinformation

shitty coffee

Roboasshole

your favorite V.T. Brand coffee!

New from VT!

leave my

troubles alone!

let me be

together.

just one being

-R

confident and poisonous

My throat burns

pine sap

and I breathe

the breath

of fire

relaxed

confident

poisonous

I like it

-R

soot covered

The tension

broken

if you look at yourself

in mirrors all day long

you're just sick

of yourself

in the end

you're just another wanderer

soot covered

shit eating

wastelander

-R

Episode 8 Begins here: "For the Love of K"

I once said

to K.

turn a goddamn light

light in her eyes

and now

I see all that is before me

and know what comes.

the eternal path

of an amateur wanderer.

Dogmeat

Find bullets!

-R

say no to nuketown

The lonely road

wanders onward

straight to

infinity

and beyond

say no to nuketown

who needs to W.I.N?

the graveyard

where is sanctuary

other than

my own black heart?

I love you K.

-R

AD E

I have my allies

to thank

me

you're welcome

thank you K.

for my three guardian angels

thank you

AD-E

I never read

your license plate

until yesterday.

rabbit hunter

K. I love you

through the darkness

I've wandered

in 10,000 circles

hunting

your white rabbit

if I come home

I want you

"Still there"

I love you

I discovered a wasteland...  Did you know?

How many years has it been?

Me and the three

dogmeat, catmeat, and Ed E.

we continue to spiral outward

on the search path

of a rabbit hunter

seaerching for a wounded hare.

shape changer

how far is east

from west

climb high

higher and higher

I can see nuketown

and distant gunfire

I slip and fall

to my unlife

hit the ground

gently

Now I've got demon wings like black silk leather,

and I know I am shifty

a shape changer.

-Metatron

solar flare

I can't tell anymore

east from west

the third sun has risen

again

to bake us into

solitary oblivion

and I bask

like an addict

in the solar flare

-R

(Return to fallout 3 for PC!!!  available on steam and amazon)

what is pain without joy?

What is pain

without joy?

I am

my own redemption

I am one alone

thank you

Vault tech Bable

but what the fuck

is Bing search?

The black suit

knows my destination

and I go unto eternal life of wandering in pain.

-R

Blue Gaea

I run with the wind

at my back

filling my sale

selling my soul

to the ghost

of blue Gaea

Still

I am your dream

I have no eyes

only pain

walking towards

down the one true path

nothing's fair after all

in war and peace

and I kick the skeleton

stupid Carnies

I opene my eyes

and wake up again

still at Springvale school.

on a dirty mattress

the corpse dripping on me.

Episode 7 begins here: Self Syndicated

welcome friends to my eternal resting place

deep in the wasteland of time

join me as best you can

play fallout 3

and I'll see you there

in the wasteland that Bethesda hasn't released yet.  No levels.  No hitpoints.  No reloading.  A few bullets.

Can you survive the insanity?

Join me on a computer near you.. but until then, Return to fallout 3!

-Russ

Caw home

I love you K

even with a few wrinkles

at the corners of your crow feet

"Caw"

not yet...

not yet...

call home.

I'm always there

collecting mutfruit for K.

in the garden with Ed E.

"Blip"

Yes Ed-E,

the perpetual Ibot.

what's with Meatbird?

waking at Springvale

I drank pure water from the ground

Anastasia

hear we are

with others like you

this is my

last goodbye

meerly cats

the world

(these giant trees)

this new world

(water on my face)

is your oyster.

the ghost shell

no casings here

eternal safety

far away from Springvales blood memories

and I wake up

on a familiar bloody mattress.

How long had I wandered again?

The nightmares never cease

But at least

I was alone.

waking Anastasia

At nuketown

again.

they call me

where have you been?

Mr. Miracle

I share a hologram of ferns

but they want

to kill my ghost Anastasia

take away

her eternal, immortal wandering

for a casing

of tiresome flesh

I wouldn't wish that on her

not in a million and one years.

fifty food radscorp

I slept all day

they gotta let me go

so I kick

a fifty foot radscorpion

out of my way

it strikes

and I wrench off

the poison teet

and feed myself

I'm no blood addict

they call me poison drinker

and I am a mortal

but not a man..

anymore.

'Where is robobrain now?'

I wonder.

carpet bombing

I remember the moment

I collapsed

it felt good to know

to breathe the air

carpet bombing

we took cover

Anastasia

you little mutant

we can stay but...

I know Nuketown

will fade into nothingness

in the sad eyes of the civilian wastelanders.

Fern Gully

I call to her and she is with me

running water

moss and fifty story ferns

in this unknown vale

theere are many people here

the small, the big, no eyed, wide eyed

you're merely cats

I haven't met before

haven't seen

my eyes are filled

with the sounds

of joy

and they sing to me

for a thousand years

The Great Oasis

-R

for the love of K

I drink

I eat

I see

I look

I smell

I know

I feel

I think

I guess

I love

I know

Kim.

-R

dogmeat find ocean!

I fell

and could not rise

said the moon

but I've seen you

hiding in a cloak

of misinformation

I wear skeletons now

a necklace of death

mollusk or no

dogmeat...  find Ocean.

"Arou?"

Lead on, shithead!

-The wastelander Metatron

Hauling Anastasia

Anastasia, find shell casings!

you hand me a see shell

you ghost

you say, "take me to the sea, mama"

and I know she is lost

clinging to my slimy back again

like I'm going somewhere

she called it a shell

but I know

a mollusk skeleton

that shades the shells

at an oasis in the wastes.

see you there little super mutant.

I'll be back.

Anastasia sleeps

Dogmeat

we've all waited

forever

still now..

Red sunset tonight

wastelander's delight

now the day is over

night is drawing nigh

shadows stretch tall

under the steel blue sky

grant to this child

a future bright and free

guard her as she

tosses in her sleep

and I do.

-The Wastelander gone soft

Anastasia becomes a rad addict

In the beginning

there was the Goddess

her word was law

in the morning light

she discovered

she was crazy

and I fractured

into a million fractals

dying just to live

no more questions

little girl

drink the radscorpion vomit.

drink

and live another thousand years.

Wastelander's Bible by Vault-tech

In the Beginning

the Goddess created

Haven and Hearth

she created

the beginning

and the end:

the atom

and the history

of the Eve of humanity

the fruit of the tree of

yggdrasil is unyeilding,

and God too,

from the ashes of her siblings.

-The Babble Apocalyptica vol.453245

BOOK 6 Episode 1: Title: Anastasia

"It is better to be a millstone

at the bottom of the ocean

than to harm a single child"

-The Wastelander in the post nuclear apocalypse

Ante Omega

Peaceful

alone in the dark

I have no mouth

and I must scream

toMorrow's winds

Oblivion

the art of war

bury the blind

behind the behind

me.

Ante Omega

-The Wastelander

(PS> play Fallout 3 by Bethesda Softworks.  We're all waiting on Fallout 4, the procedural no-leveling no-inventory gamer's heaven.  Get to work, Bethsoft! That's an order soldiers!)

blood painting

He gave me the finger

said, "How do you like that, asshole!"

I liked it a lot

I severed him

from his finger

for blood painting

with baby ghosts.

for the love of springvale high school.

spiritual stasis

Blood Euphoria?

you know I always

win arguments

with K's .22

or just

my acid whip

tongue tying

spectral silence

the black fire in my heart will never die

sorry Anastasia

I'm in spiritual stasis.

sister Moira

I love you K.

and I'm still alive

IO is still ticking

Kerthump

Kersploosh

aye

still alive

yeah I know

Unlive my unlife

I'm not a ghoul

not a mutant

just the spawn of a mortal woman.

my sister Moira is a bitch

Let me go!

I'm not like the other radpoison addicts.

I just need one more fix

stupid doctors

psychadelic

a bunch of new loot

Mafia(R) sunglasses

what is

greenbear 420?

hahaha

sign says

Medicinal use only

Bethesda, MD

stupid doctors

you make me laugh.

--Metatron

VrrrrrrrRRRRRRR

fast and fun

action packed brahman shit fueled

endurance racing

for my hover bike

I wonder

is 700 mph

safe?

Hahahahaha

VrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRR

[End Holotape]

the lake of mires

songbirds

guaranteed

peace and quiet

*Ping* *eject*

Tasty too

if you're a radblood addict

just squeeze

the juice

into my

gills

-The Wanderer

wormwood never fell

I dare you

proove it.

A+B = W

W is an unknown fixed value numeral constant

I am wormwood

I fall forever

the bomb

that never fell

it's not over

I'm the master I made us for.

goodbye meat

I hear your voice

I have no reason

no intuition

just The Wandering

in the space between

a great divide

in my soul

memories trashed

recycled

and I stabbed it

until it shook once

and died forever.

Goodbye meat.

I consume you.

-The Wanderer

home

I feel

at home

and I feel

quicker and lighter

than yesteryear s

I'm always falling forward

one mission at a time

one step at a time

one century at a time

and I am home

in my slimy black heart.

a quickening light.

I am wormwood that never falls.

I am poisond

my friends

just pushing away

always looking back

forward.

Roses like red lips

I am drawn in

to the dark kNight

I burn brightly

the star in the sky

I am the wormwood that never falls, never fails.

Powder Kills

warm and dark twilight

the sun sets eternal

I stand and watch

a rad wave is coming

I hail the next rising

all for fun

and fun for me

the water works...

my gun powder kills.

START episode V: The Rusty Gate

(Title: In the Sleeper's vale)

War

my apetite

one day it changes

my clothes, my hair color

the stars stay hidden tonight

and whether I

stay the same

or share my umbrella

corporeality

they will never be wet again

dry and safe

safe and alive

the sleepers in the vale.

-Metatron

crunching on a butterfly.

I'm burning

I'm flying

my wings are

Black

and now I'm here

with no evidence

of wings

except the butterfly

I'm crunching on

in my face fist.

who needs a juicer

when I always have

piptits in mind

-The Wastelander

Harley Davidson

I pull the trigger

it's the ride of my life

a pre owned Harley

Davidson hover bike

just needs some

TLC. I love you black cat

inventory?

not me.

just my fingernails

to scrape off the rust

and my black heart

to start her up.

Love you K.

-Metatron

million dollar paper

Here I come

destination

Nohow

where and when?

I won't give

I stand up

wake up Moira

fuck you and your chems

I found a million dollar paper

what's it worth?

it's a deal.

and she hands me

a fistful of .22 LR bullets

-Metatron

(Return to fallout 3, not coming soon from Bethesda softworks!)

return to the sleepers

I return

to the sleeper's vale

sleeping bodies all around

I shake her and I slap her

she's still asleep

and I move onwards

towards the periphery

Entropy

forging chaos

I'm coming home

see you at the edge of the wasteland

RAWR!

-The wanderer, Metatron Orion

radmelon patch

War

It's like sex

somebody's always fucked

unless you find

a radmelon patch

then you're

just a fucker

with a green dick

like always.

never.

-Metatron

Resting on concrete

resting on concrete

I've had worse days

I'm in unfamiliar territory

with old familiar solace

I remember Moira

Moira don't wake me up.

If I'm asleep on the concrete

for 307 days

and for fucks sake

quit jamming your needles in my ass

I'm not your goddamn wastelander

I'm not one of your experiments

you woke me up.

"Why?"

"..."

"Get lost," I said

and she was hurt

but at least

I am not her murderer

no matter how many times

she kills me back to life

Hahahahahahahaha...

and I wander again.

-Metatron

Moira annoying

Gun in hand

Moira

too far off to scope

I'm not purely existing

just for you to cure my sickness

and hate me like you hate radscorpions

I vomit up your special chems

vomit blood too

and lap the rads off the rocks

I'm not your dead man

let me be!

when I get to nuketown

I'm setting off that mofo

AGAIN, burn ya bitch!

dead hulking husks

Rolling

Rocking

music, in my ears.

clickity click

clickity click

clockity clock

sitting in a circle of radscorpions

the music of the spears

and I fear their voices

they speak as one

the music is gone

and I wake up

surrounded by dead hulking husks.

-Metatron

(Welcome to the wasteland, wanderer!)

My name is Metatron

My name is Metatron

what's yours?

comment below

to enter  your wasteland

you are the door

and you are the key

and I am the radscorpion

that haunts your dreams

ever since Fallout hit

California

slipping away...

-The wastelander Metatron

ED E

Ed E

I love you

scrapmetal!

"Eye sense danger"

good, which way?

I load my .22 rifle

-The wastelander Metatron (welcome to pc gaming procedural hell by Bethesda, Fallout 3 reborn!)

10 trillion years

10 trillion years

in the future

of a non-existential

wasteland

that's hidden

in the apple

of my eye

(welcome to fallout 3: forever, a game not under developement by Bethesda.  No more levels, no more hitpoints, no more saves, it's pure gaming heaven.  in the meantime you can play fallout 3 on a computer near you!  Return to fallout 3!!)

-Russ

owlmeat

tap tap tapping

on my vault tech door

rap rap rapping

emergency sirens

lights flash

and no one is there

just owlmeat

he looks at me

eye for eye

I stare

he screams

(thanks catmeat)

engulfed in flames

doused by v-tech

he looks at me again

in a flash he is gone.

purged

come back to hell

coming or going?

never arriving

always

always there

here

or there?

here or there?

War

it's heaven

until you know

you're a murderer

then it's purge or be purged.

together in solitude

Have a nice day?

What the fuck?

Today is just another yesterday

tomorrow never comes

today is a good day

I took a mission

from a little supermutant

a little girl ghost.

she said

find the edge of fallout

then take three more steps

and keep going.

we are together in our solitude.

[End Holotape]

murderer again in Bethesda

"The Lost Bible"

right here

behind shining eyes

Dogmeat, find the mourning

that star

just guides me in Bethesda,

returned.

an old billboard reads "Bethesda, Go away"

and I disappear

into the brown bushes

with my .22 SI

and I call to the peacocks in their language.

"Ah-Ahhh!

Hey fuckshits!"

and I'm a murderer again.

Awake in the dark

Awake in the dark

Moon rises today

tonight?

I can't tell the sun from moon.

There's only one wastelander in my apocalypse.

I am solitary, bright darkness.

-R

ZzZzzzzzzzz

I'm tired

so tired

calm

relaxed

no sleep

if you're wicked awesome

like Ed E

ZzZZZZzzzzzzzzzz

Ed-E turned black

Ed-E turned black

melted into mud

I kissed her

and she died

but the eyebots are everywhere

but not one like Ed - E

no one like Ed- E

I miss you K.

If I kissed you to death

I'm sorry

Ede- "I'm sorry"

Me too ED -E

me too.

I love you K.

the first wolfrider

Ed E has returned to me and

I'm leaving

my destination behind me

I am the man in black

soot black

like radscorpion poison

good going

what is war?

and what have I become?

I am fleeing

on dogmeat's back

holding on

the first wolf rider in hell.

(Welcome to fallout 3 reborn.  No levels, no saves, no reloads. Welcome to gaming eden!  Not coming soon from Bethesdsa.. but I can hope!)

5000 meters go away

Shaking and shaking

calm, clear

shaking and shaking

what has happened to me

the heads up display

on my power armor

is an IGUINA

Women are intuitive

Men are oblivious

WTF kind of data

is that

how about a rangefinder?

It spoke.

"5000.7 meters... Go away!"

the rad smoke enhales me

focused

clear

cognizant

coffee in my hand again

this stupid vault

there's a new coffee

everyday

*BOOM*

I'm coated in

black slime

living in shit again

I take a deep breath

and the rad smoke inhales me.

Hot coffee?

Back in the vault

Hot coffee sir?

Yes

Hot coffee sir?

Yes

Fucking V-tech

and their robobrained morons

hot coffee sir?

Yes

Hot coffee sir?

No!

Yes sir, I'll mix it right up!

It didn't taste bad

maybe i"ll keep him around.

*BOOM*

oops.. maybe not.

click click click

go to hell

she says.

I'm trying.

your hell is MY wasteland

MY scorpions

MY cat and MY dog

don't fuck with a man

in haven

heavenly rads

scorpions

feeding me alive

the circle of chattering claws...

click click clack clock cluck colk

I am firestarter.  I am dust.  I am powder.

I am nuclear powered.

[End Holotape]

Moira you clever bitch

Moira you clever bitch

No space from

can't escape

doors locked

darkness

I climb up and

throw up myself

pure water

dead water

I kick the car

over and over

I kick another one

*BOOM*

Alive again.

Don't fucking ressurect me, Jesus Christ!

I thought I had destroyed you, nuketown.

Seizures

Searches

Kills

Loots

Seizures

Frozen again

shoshasha

get me out of this

no way to W.I.N.

*CLICK*

And I wake up in the blipping coffin with lights in my eyes

Women only

all around nuketown

I thought I had destroyed you

but I must have.

Minisode #1 Until you are unmade

pissed on

pissed off

and nowhere to piss

or not to piss

that's not the question

how do I escape

the hail I've created

in the post apocalyptica

-The Wastelander

PS> The one and only.

I will destroy you

Until you are unmade.

[End Holotape]

All I am

Life in hel

It's shitty

all apologies

Moira

Easily amused Moira

It's all my fault

blame me

for your rad heartburn, your manpips, pipboys, mandogs, etc.

K...

You are my twin suns

shing shining upon me

Moira and I are

just eternal twins

I love you K.

All I am is all we are.

Assholes

War

when it's all gone

what makes sense anymore?

Bullshit.

I am hunter.

I am I am I

This Babble by Vault Tech

says I'm Lucifer

"Plus Plus <><>"

Plus Metatron?

WTF?  Guess my name?

[End Holotape]

thanks titter mag

Hate

war

hate

war is hate

war

what is it??

men at war

women at nuketown

peace be with me

thanks

titter mag.

thanks.

-The Wastelander

screaming

Ahhh! x35

I hear screaming

not sure...

anymore.

stimpacks

chewables

I am screaming

does anyone hear me?

FOR FUCKS SAKE!

Where...

Springvale again

the ghost of a little girl

in the shadows

I am hidden... I am hidden...

Go away nuketown

949283dj82Error {End Holotape]

Moira I had to go

Moira

I had to go

you were killing me

with kindness and radaway

I am not a game that you can win!

You can make me human

but what am I

when immortality fades away

and the rads drain out my magic lizard

goddamnit

you and your goddamn chems

trying to kill me

or let me live life.

Fucking A..  I don't know but the radscorpion blood on my lips

is real enough for me.

[End Holotape]

alpha and omega 4ever

I am on fire

War

it's never the same

but always

always familiar

I love you K.

I love you

catpocalypse.. Find oblivion!

she runs forward

and I got after, unto fate.

Alpha and omega forever.

I am wormwood

I am alive

I can never be broken

I am the phoenix

burning again

burning and then

moonrise again and again and again

rising from ashes

I am the star that rises tonight

when the sunsets are done

and the dust settles onwards.

I am the wormwood.

Now and ever

apocalypse forever.

Radaway..  Away far away

Apocalypse now

forever and ever

never again

Moira you can break me

bring me to life with pure water

again and again and again

I drink the rads forever.

The blanket of dreams

I wipe the blood from my mouth

red in the morning

women take warning, I hear you scream

I look at myself

I am drenched red

blood pumping in my veins

I'm heady, dizzy, I vomit

the sugarbombs

wasteland take me...

I am alive

you cannot unbreak me

I am alive

I'm covered in blood

the blanket of dreams.

Can you feel the heat p2

I am alive

I am alive

I cannot be broken

I am alive

I am alive

I am alive

the gingerbread man

you can never unbake me

I damn you to hell

broken n beaten n bloody again

I am alive

again and forever.

sweet....  Sweet sweet radscorpion blood

...

and I heard a woman scream

[End Holotape}

Can you feel the heat

I will wander

wander forever

like a ghost

with a noose on a tether

I am alive

I am alive

I can never be broken

I am alive

I am alive

I am unlife

and I cannot be broken

I am alive

Can you feel the heat

of the sands, beneath me?

Sweet dreams, little ones

War

War never changes

you think it has, maybe

but

agitated like a goddamn mind fuckler.

aggravated

emotion?

I practice non feeling.

This emotion

Tonight when they surround me

I kill the radscorpions.

When they come

I will rip them with bare hands

and drink the blood that I know.

Sweet dreams, little ones.

[End Holotape]

what is catmeat

What are you, Catmeat?

"I am God above all Gods"

"are you Vault tech?"

"good question"

"Will you stay with me?"

"You may kiss my toes of you so desire."

Her eyes save me

cloaked in joyous admiration

I love you Catmeat

super mutant cannibals

I see the mutants sometimes

they don't want me.

They point the RadBuddy, it clicks away.

and they think I am not there, or I am spoiled meat, I don't know.

I scream and they halt.

"I hear delicious!"

"I hear human!"

and I run away again.

Cannibals.s

Too stupid to see what's in front.

I uncross my fingers

Catmeat slips out of my arms.

Later, I sleep with her, purring

she is a good weight on my chest.

milky crybaby

"You're just a milky crybaby"

he taunts me

from a pile of rubble

I see the landmines

they're cloaked

but i can taste the air

when they are close.

*BOOM*  Electriciticiticity

They used to...

in home+garden mag...

it was called frisbee

*BOOM*

oops.

Dogmeat, piss nanoculture!

[End Holotape]

Dogmeat, find cigarettes!

"You know?"

"No"

don't

don't

no

please

no

don't

don't damnit!

no

please

no radaway when I'm sleeping damnit!

don't

please

know

I am the wasteland

don't recreate me

without a proper

procedure

no more chems!

where are my smokes?

Dogmeat, find cigarettes!

Command not found. Go figure.

welcome to the wasteland

Alone and home again

in my wasteland

the post nuclear spiritual holocause of eternal adventure

Welcome to the wasteland!

[End Holotape]

---

("Return to Fallout 3", hopefully coming soon from Bethesda Softworks.  What's your infinite procedural heaven? comment below)

dust everywhere

sand in my goggles

Titter Magazine is always there

with great articles

and my dick

has a mind like eyes of sand

endless sands

inside the labyrinth

I am home in the wasteland again.

[End Holotape]

Just don't break me.

300 billion years in the future

in an alternate existence

broadcasting brother and bother

Three-toes and Four-eyes

Do you want Radscorpions?

My voice?

Come and get me.

I triple dare you.

Just.. Don't break me.

[End Holotape]

I love you both and K #20

I adjust my antennae

get the signal clearer

I float forward

on ghost legs

with ghost eyes

with lunar wings

Megaton is miles away

and I find no sad eyes to see into.

Dogmeat and Catmeat

I love you both, and K.

[End Holotape]

you are a butterfly

I'm coming back

I don't want to go

either

I don't remember why I came

"I love you

or

I'm an eternal

I'm a ghoul with silk skin."

"No my love, you are a butterfly"

[End Holotape]

nuclear dust, my one true love

"When are you coming home?"

"I don't know when"

"Go to hell!"

And I left nuketown

in a cloud of

absolution

"Nuclear dust, you are my one true love."

[End Holotape]

Soon old boy

Sing with me

she says.

What?

She says,

"Make a joyful sound."

I laugh and laugh and laugh.

her wide eyes

then we laugh together

and I say my prayers again

"Good catmeat, and dogmeat too."

Arou?

Yes, soon boy.

[End HoloArou]

Think we're safe, Moira?

I feed on the fire, soak up the rads

God Moira,

don't fix me!

fucking chems

warmth

rads

I see my ghost

in a reflection

in his eyes

Dog + Cat

Sleep at home..

Think we're safe?

[End Holotape]

the sound of death

rumbling

gurgling

choking

spewing

burning

my stomach growls

*BOOM*

but the mechanic is ok

he knows

the sound of a car's dying breath.

[End Holotape]

Springvale again #13

I'm at Springvale again

I pulled the car out of the ditch

the winch is broken

he says, "wow!  It'll run."

I say

"Where to?"

he says

"Dont give the damn thing and existential crisis would you?"

the suns are setting

so we hole up for the long night.

[End Holotape]

The speaker to the dead

Blood in my shining eyes.

Hot water shower

there's people here

some of them care less

some with questions in their eyes

and some with murder

on their dirty hands

what have I become?

and Moira

the speaker to the dead.

[End Holotape]

labyrinth of murals

Hello word

gonna slow down

soldier for too long

warrior of fate

no more mirrors

Goddess.

Get me away from here

now you know

show I'd like to say

Butterflies?

Dead carnies

and the sleeping labyrinth of murals

a sign

welcome to the Union Fairgrounds

[End Holotape]

my last goodbye

in the end...

What end?

Death?

Life?

Solitude

eternal.

who will tell my story?

my last goodbye

I'm not afraid to die

borne away

my last goodbye.

[End Holotape]

the color of salty blood

The closer I get,

the harder I fall

haven't seen blood

in thousands of platelets

hemoglobin pain

I had forgotten long ago

I cradle my broken nose

and I remember the taste

this time

the color of salty blood.

[End Holotape]

infinite oblivion or nuketown?

a skeleton

I chew the bone

content

and I see with dogmeat

eye for an eye

face too close

she licks me and we howl together.

Catmeat...  Where to?

Infinite oblivion or nuketown?

[End Holotape]

the taste of salt and a dead man to loot

Killed again

at the clinic

broken and staring

light, faint light

from Catmeat's eyes

I touch my face, it's wet

have I been crying, dirt streaked mirror?

The taste of salt

and a dead man to loot

[End Holotape]

Can I get well?

22 LR in my back pocket

no armor

where did i leave you behind?

metal body

cold, calculating interface

scrounging the vault

and I wonder in the dark of the clinic,

can I get well?

I thought you were there

and a handful of dust

crumbles in my hand.

Sugar bombs?

a child with hair

and catmeat

how did you get

your stripes and stars?

Memory returns

scrambled data

I thought you were there.

[End Holotape]

I pick up the rifle and move on

and I'm dead again

raided

show shell to the face

was it me or them?

radscorpion carcasses

I take a drink

and remove the stinger

from my mouth.

Anyone thirsty?

I heard her again

"meow"

I pick up the rifle and move on.

I wander onwards e2p3

In the distance

I see another

I walk and walk

she's no closer, no farther

but she grows on...

me.

the horizon

the shadow she

casts a spell.

where is my shadow?

I pick up the pace

Moonrise...

I wander onwards

Catmeat, find people!

Dogmeat

fighting yonder

bullets...

22 rifles, shotguns

I can't remember

the last time

I held a gun

Catmeat I am

beyond the valley of the sleepers

Catmeat..  Find people!

Catpocalypse

I am dead

or just...

still alive

watching the rising suns

drinking pure water

dogmeat, again? Really?

The rads feed me.

Keep me dead

or alive

More now than ever

Twin suns rising

I see

Catpocalypse now.

*purrrrrr*

[End Holotape]